remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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