I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
