Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
