i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
