I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
