There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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