I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
