Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
