it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize