Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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