it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
