really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
