If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
