I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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