I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
