I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
