Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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