Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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