The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
