I'm really into asian looking animals
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My feet surprised me
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