i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
