By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
