Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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