So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Rumble strips road head = magical
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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