He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
