So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize
