Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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