batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
