I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
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