No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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