Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
