I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
