Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
