Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
