I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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