is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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