I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
