It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
