I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
