it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We have started to decorate penises.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
