Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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