Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
