My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
