Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
