she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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