I am spending my child support on dildos
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
