So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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