yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
