I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
