so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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