I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
