I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can tuck mytits in my pants
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
this just has baby written all over it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
