OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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